The Right Place at the Right Time – 6 - Mission Dolores Basilica

In May 2007, I was back in Reno for my annual self-flagellation at the U.S. Bowling Congress national tournament. Beck came along and it was a great trip that began and ended in San Francisco.

In between, we hit the state houses in Sacramento and Carson City along with a two-night stay near Yosemite National Park. That segment included a white water rafting trip down the Merced River where Beck was tossed into the drink. Unfortunately, no photos exist of that momentous event.

Once back in San Francisco, we enjoyed a busy day that included visits to Golden Gate Park and the De Young Museum. Niece Katie Ripley then took us to Mission Dolores, the oldest surviving building in San Francisco. Completed in 1791, it is the northernmost of the 21 missions established from Mexico up the California coast by Father Junipero Serra.

Mission San Dolores (left) and the Basilica,

San Francisco. (18 May 2007)

While the old mission, with its thick adobe walls, is dim and historic, the adjacent basilica, built after the 1906 earthquake, is spacious and grand. It was late afternoon and golden light was streaming in through the stained glass windows. We were free to walk about the church but here’s where it gets better and why it really was the right place at the right time. We happened to be there while an organist was rehearsing for a concert that evening. I have to say that walking through a magnificent space is one thing but doing it as Bach music fills the air is something else.

One of the Basilica windows (18 May 2007)

Back when the Baltimore Sun was still a viable newspaper, the Sunday Travel section invited readers to submit a photo to be published under the heading, ‘My Best Shot.’ I am happy to note that the photo below was published on 29 July 2007. Each submission required a brief description of the image and I believe the way I chose to explain the scene and the experience helped with its selection.

On a trip to California last May, we visited Mission 

Dolores, the oldest building in San Francisco and the 

northernmost of Junipero Serra's Camino Real missions. 

The larger Basilica next door had these banners that 

went from the choir loft all the way to the front of the 

church and up the rotunda...like the path to heaven. 

We were alone in the church, except for an 

organist practicing Bach for a coming recital. 

The imagery and the great sounds 

made it a grand, multi-sensual experience.

Mission Dolores Basilica, Easter Season, 2007 (18 May 2007)

On December 30th of that year, it was published again as one of the ten images the Sun selected for its year-end ‘Best Shots of 2007.’

While I had some images ‘published’ in company and utility industry PR materials, this was the first shot printed where the public at large could see it. However, my fifteen minutes of fame came with the condition that the image is now the property of the Baltimore Sun. It’s a favorite picture of mine and I wonder if they did anything with it...

Happy Halloween.

When I am King – Rules of the Road - Part 2

While we’re on the subject, there are some other offenses that will be addressed WIAK. For instance, don’t you just love it when you’re at an intersection in heavy traffic and you have the green light but can’t go anywhere because some yay-hoo is blocking your way forward? If you can’t drive THROUGH the intersection, do not enter it. First offense will be a fine. Second offense, we take away your car.

When the sign on the highway says, “Lane ends 2000 feet ahead,” do not stay in that lane for 1990 feet and expect to just slide in. You are too inconsiderate to operate a car and we’ll have to take it from you.

(All images taken from Google Images/Bad Driving)

If you drive to the end of the entrance (we used to call it the ‘acceleration’) lane to a high-speed road and then stop, it leaves us to conclude we would all be safer with you walking.

That handle on the left side of the steering wheel operates your turn signals. It really helps to inform your fellow drivers that you’re moving that two-ton missile you control into another lane or off the road. Failing to let the rest of us know what you’re doing is dangerous and you will be less of a threat to us all without your car.

Of course, being the geezer that I am, I am duty-bound to recognize a personal flaw that will also be addressed when I am King. Because I drive a car with a very quiet turn signal...and my hearing is starting to suck, I have been known on occasion to inadvertently go on for a while with the turn signal on. However, no draconian measures will be necessary since, when I am King, all cars will be fitted with a simple electronic warning that kicks in after the car hasn’t made a turn in a few miles...a buzzer or equally annoying sound.

For 15 years, I lived in New Orleans where driving is notoriously bad. I dubbed the place ‘The Home of the One-Car Accident’ since there are an inordinate amount of car-tree and car-building collisions. “Officer, that storefront just jumped out in front of the car! Honest.” I once thought about preparing the ‘New Orleans Drivers Manual’ with all the rules of the road, including:

1. If the traffic light is RED, the car behind you has to stop.

2. If the traffic light is YELLOW, speed up. The car behind you is.

3. If the traffic light is GREEN, look both ways (because the other guy is obeying 1 & 2).

4. ‘Right turn on RED after stop’ means right turn.

5. A STOP sign means ‘slow down.’

6. A YIELD sign means GO.

Finally, texting. An astonishing 77% of young adults surveyed say they are confident enough to text and drive. Am I the only one who thinks this is bat-shit crazy? You’re taking your eyes OFF the road. Yes, you also do that when you change the radio station or turn up the AC. But it takes a fraction of a second to do that and many of those actions become so familiar, they can be done without looking.

Anyway, your reply might be, “It’s too hard to catch texters in the act. That’s one reason we do it. That, plus the fact that we’re addicted to our devices and just can’t stop using them no matter where we are or what we’re doing.”

When I am King, every car will be fitted with a camera that is trained on the driver. The camera only operates when the car is moving...when the driver is supposed to be driving. So don’t you worry about us knowing what happens when the car is parked...none of my business. Since the camera is wirelessly synchronized to the phone in the driver’s seat, it will know when it is in use and automatically send a charge through your seat...enough voltage to ensure timely behavior modification. Every car in the Kingdom will be fitted with this life-saving feature. If the behavior modification fails to work and you are caught texting behind the wheel of a moving vehicle, you will forfeit your car and be free to text all you want. Highway deaths will plummet and citizens will rejoice as great ‘Huzzahs!’ and ‘Hail to the King’ ring out across the land.

By the time I’m finished clearing our highways of all the idiots, morons and butt-heads, public transportation will thrive and we’ll be able to rent out vast stretches of now-empty interstates for bike paths, sporting events (of a linear nature), concerts and exhibits. I understand getting all the numb-nuts off the road could crash the auto, oil, construction and insurance industries, throw millions out of work and collapse the economy but, what the hey? Like they say, ‘You have to break some eggs.’

Vote for me for King.

When I am King – Rules of the Road - Part 1

Without the discipline of the Dead Presidents anniversary dates, things have been quiet. A few friends wrote that they were sorry to see the series end. I agree. I enjoyed the Quest and story-telling more than I imagined. Some readers and I wondered if future stories would lack that snarkiness that comes out when I recall flawed men and aspects of our sometimes troubled history. 

But fear not, faithful readers. My fellow human beings are an endless source of snark inspiration as they can so very often be counted on to do the wrong thing.

(All images taken from Google Images/Bad Driving)

The scene is southbound Route 29. Beck and I were heading to Washington, D.C. and the Newseum. As members, we had reservations for a panel discussion about my favorite scumbag president, (‘Don’t Be A’) Dick Nixon. On the 40th anniversary of his resignation, historians Douglas Brinkley and Luke Nichter were there to discuss their new book, The Nixon Tapes. Also present was Carl Bernstein, who along with Bob Woodward, broke the Watergate story that ultimately revealed Tricky Dick for the crook that he was.

But first, we had to get there. On weekday afternoons, it’s certainly easier to drive into D.C. since most of the workday commuters are heading in the other direction. We left home TWO hours before the scheduled start of the event to make a drive that takes forty minutes if traffic is moving...big ‘if’ around here.

In recent years, Rt. 29 has been upgraded to a high-speed, multi-lane corridor with fewer lights and more overpasses for local traffic. After sailing along, we came to a grinding halt. First thought – we’re close to the place where three lanes become two. It’s a merging issue. Nah...we’re going too slowly for that. Probably an accident up ahead. 

We creep along at three miles an hour and with each new bend in the road, I hopefully look ahead to see if whatever is causing the back-up is close enough to at least reveal that the end of this jam is near. We do this for over 30 minutes.

Beck is the first to notice there is NO traffic on the other side of the road. Pardon me for having no faith in my fellow human beings but the first thing I thought was ‘rubber-necking’. Sure enough, the next bend we could have walked to faster than we were driving revealed that NOTHING blocked ANY of the lanes on our side. The poor saps heading north were stopped cold because there were more emergency vehicles than damaged cars there. Not to justify our need to gawk at someone else’s misfortune but it wasn’t even a terrible accident. There were no ambulances, no overturned cars or ‘Jaws of Life’ scrambles...just another game of ‘Wrinkle-Fender’. Yet, everyone had to slow down and check it out.

I wish there were ways to fully block the view of this scene so drivers would just keep going. In New Orleans, I once saw eight lanes of I-10 slow to a crawl...four lanes in each direction, because someone was changing a tire. No lanes were blocked...until ALL the lanes were clogged by flippin’ rubberneckers. Clearly, something must be done and it will be when you elect me King.

When I am King, we will again understand that driving is not a right. That licensed privilege comes with responsibilities and failure to be responsible will have consequences.

If you prefer to slow down on a high-speed road to gaze at some poor bloke’s misfortune, hoping to see flames and body parts, you don’t deserve to drive. First offense will be a fine. Second offense, we take away your car.

More in Part 2.