Thursday, October 15, 2015

Not Enjoying the View from 30,000 Feet

In May 2012, I wrote about taking pictures through airplane windows. The landscape from thousands of feet up can take on some fascinating perspectives. As long as I fly over land, I prefer a window seat.

Over the Great Basin (January 2002)

Last month, I flew to Wisconsin to join my bride for a big family reunion. I remember when flying was an adventure. Now, it is a friggin’ ordeal. For example, on this trip, I had a window seat and was going to see some interesting sights like the shorelines of a few Great Lakes, the Upper Mississippi River (since the flight to Green Bay went to Minneapolis first) and the beautiful farm country in the Midwest. But wait! There was just one little thing missing from my window seat…as the photo below documents.

Seat 15A or The Closet With No View (21 August 2015)

In these modern times, where social media can influence the market, commercial enterprises are sensitive to negative publicity. Big business has been known to come down on individuals or groups who exercise their First Amendment rights. Called ‘SLAPP’ suits, they charge libel or slander after bad reviews and other statements they allege will harm their market and reputation. Cautious writers will omit specific names or direct references so they are not hit with nuisance legal actions. Given that this blog reaches literally tens of readers across the country, I will be extra careful to avoid any specific text reference to the offending airline.

The ‘Window’ Seat Onboard Meal (21 August 2015)

To add insult to injury, this new 737 jet was outfitted with video screens on the back of the seat in front of me, which I had no trouble seeing since it was just a few inches from my face. Among the advertisements, one offered the option…for a price, of course, to get a seat with (fanfare please) four, count ‘em FOUR additional inches of leg room!!! “If you value your knees, you should be willing to pay.”

If we’re getting to the point where one doesn’t have a window to distract me from the fact that I can no longer feel my legs, we might as well convert the space to cargo mode and fit it with stacked personal passenger tubes. Like we see in science fiction space travel movies, the airlines could knock you out for a few hours and slip you into your tube. The tubes can be stacked floor-to-ceiling and once the plane has arrived at your destination, a handy-dandy conveyor system will unload, transport and spit you out in the baggage claim area. At least my knees will feel better…not to mention what they will save on cookies, peanuts and flight attendants.

All this reminded me of a visit to the Henry Ford Museum outside of Detroit. A marvelous place with wonderful examples of early transportation and American enterprise. Among the old flying machines is an early passenger plane and in the plane is this charming advertising poster from WAY back when…

Those Were the Days
Henry Ford Museum, Michigan (12 December 2011)

No shorts, t-shirts and flip flops in those days. People dressed up to fly. Instead of a packet of peanuts, they got hot meals…on a puny DC-3. This plane carried only 21 passengers. Now we cram hundreds into much larger craft…with knees crunched in the front and the rest of your extremities stressed from every angle. Progress, some call it.

Apparently, I am not alone in this regard. Airline passenger rights groups are forming and they are making their stand on the premise that adequate space is a human right. The legroom is shrinking. The seat size is shrinking. And this is happening as the average American ass is growing, unfortunately. We’ll see how well this works when a full plane needs a fast, emergency evacuation and people die because they are shoe-horned into their seats and can’t get out quickly enough.

In the meantime…

“You want a window seat with an actual window? That will cost you more.”