Remembering LaVerne Ripley

At Grandson Ronnie Ripley’s wedding (9 June 2007)

As is my pattern, I often begin with images, then find words to go along with them.

Becky’s mother died on March 14th. She was 88 and her mental and physical health had declined rapidly in recent months. Her passing was just when the Coronavirus pandemic was gaining traction. We immediately booked a flight to Green Bay and for the next week, tried to plan a proper Catholic mass and funeral during a week when public health directives were changing almost daily.

Plans changed and changed again, confounding arrangements and confusing LaVerne’s grieving husband. Good thing Becky, her siblings and an extremely competent and compassionate funeral home director were there to make the best of the situation.

Laverne Mae Ullman’s High School Graduation (1949)

When the family was looking for a picture of LaVerne for the obituary and Catholic prayer card, I suggested the one on top. The family chose a more recent shot…one that reflected her long life but also the recent challenges of her decline. I wanted one that showed her maturity but also the life and beauty she retained at age 75.

The New Mr. & Mrs. Emil Ripley (4 October 1950)

Emil and LaVerne did everything together. Married on Emil’s 20th birthday in 1950, it was easy to remember the date and what anniversary it was.

The Ripley’s are a working family. When it’s time to work, they work. When it’s time to rest, they work. LaVerne did more than raise nine kids. She sold World Book Encyclopedias. She was a teller at a bank. She was the Town Clerk. There was a period when the family bought old houses to fix and flip. She and Emil ran a tax prep business. She even had a local radio talk show for a while. So many people in the area knew them both.

Laverne was one of nine Ullman kids and she birthed nine of her own. Just as the spreading virus is described in exponential terms, the Ripley family grew as the nine produced twenty grandchildren and 14 great grandchildren. I can think of nothing LaVerne liked more than holding a baby.

Great Grandma and Eve (29 September 2010)

Four of the Ripley boys were basketball stars on the Pulaski HS team. Rod was All-State his senior year and, on the first day that college coaches were permitted to make recruiting visits, Indiana coaching legend Bobby Knight was in the Ripley home to put the moves on the family. LaVerne did her part by filling the home with the smells of fresh-baked goodies. Rod eventually chose to go to Madison and stay closer to home, but Coach Knight didn’t forget how well Mom treated him that day.

She was such an innocent soul. We still recall when she visited us in New Orleans during Mardi Gras in 1983. We took her to the French Quarter where some of the more outrageous costuming was on display. Whenever we recall that day, it often includes “Oh no!” and “Oh my God!” in our finest Wisconsin accents.

50th Anniversary / 70th Birthday (4 October 2000)

Any time we visited her home, the first thing she offered after a hug and welcome, was food.
“Mom, we had dinner on the road here. Mom, we just ate. I’m full, really.”
“How about a small plate then?”

She was THE Mother…in a traditional sense that we east coast, urban, 21st century Americans rarely see. She came up in rural and small-town Wisconsin. Priorities then were (and continued to be) faith, family and work. She was a product of her times. Expert in the domestic arts, but sometimes reserved and hesitant about things that were either new-fangled or in the man’s domain. I recall trying to get her to learn computing basics so she could get email with pictures of her large and far-flung family. She didn’t believe she could do it even as I reminded her of all the household machines she mastered. She grew up at a time when men did what men did and women (and the girls they raised) were confined to housework…and serving the men’s needs.

60th Anniversary / 80th Birthday (4 October 2010)

The funeral was planned for the Assumption BVM church in Pulaski…one of the biggest rural churches in the country. Upwards of 1000 visitors were expected. At the same time, the country began to contract. Gatherings were limited to fifty people and soon after, the number dropped to ten. The funeral home viewing had to be limited to family only and those numbers had to be scheduled in blocks of ten or fewer. The funeral mass was postponed and then finally set for Emil and LaVerne’s much smaller and intimate rural church, with only LaVerne’s husband of 69 years and eight of her children present. A camera was brought in to livestream the mass so others might view it online. The rest of us waited outside in the 29-degree cold, maintaining social-distancing between family units until the coffin was brought out to the graveyard across the street. Again, in keeping with the new crowd restrictions, dozens of cars encircled the cemetery where others paid their respects from a distance.

‘Thanksgiving’ (7 December 2019)

LaVerne, Emil and their nine children. All together for the last time. This day will always be remembered because she was declining rapidly by then. There were episodes where she did not know Emil and was afraid of “that man” in her room. But on this delayed holiday gathering, she was alert, engaged and so happy to be surrounded by her family, even if she didn’t know their names.

She was a great mother-in-law.

May she rest in peace.