When I Am King - # 2 – [Most] Eating Contests Will be Banned
While there
are numerous Edicts and Proclamations that will be rolled out WIAK, this one is
clearly not a priority. It was prompted
by a news report after the last holiday.
On the day
after Independence Day, ESPN’s Sports Center showed the highlights [?] of the
annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest, held July 4th in Coney
Island. We’re talking about national
coverage here. Even Mayor Bloomberg was
there. The City’s Nanny-in-Chief has led
the charge against smoking, big drinks and calorie ignorance and yet was
present to endorse this pageant to competitive gluttony.
The Women’s
Division winner scarfed down 45 wieners in ten minutes. The ESPN talking heads then regaled the Men’s
champ by exclaiming that Joey Chestnut broke his own record by devouring 69
dogs...in ten minutes. It would take me
a several summers of picnics and ball games to consume that many.
I guess I
can accept the fun in watching Uncle Fred trying to speed-eat a cherry pie (ONE
cherry pie) with no hands. And, yes,
being able to down seven sausages a minute...for ten minutes...is a feat. One must have an athlete’s drive and
concentration plus a unique constitution to be a champion hot dog disposal
unit.
However, in
a country where malnutrition is shockingly endemic and under-nourishment is bad
enough to have 47 million citizens qualify
for food stamps, the idea of crowning a Champion Food Hoover is...find the
right word...repugnant.
Eating ONE
blueberry pie with no hands is not the same as two-fisting dozens of weenies
down your pie hole. It’s just not. So, when I am King, eating contests like this
will be outlawed. Joey Chestnut will
have to find a regular job.
posted by Ted Ringger @ 11:35 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
I recently read a story about a guy who sent himself into convulsions and then into a coma by eating over 430 of those Red Lobster biscuits in one sitting - that's over 50 sticks of butter. What a dumb-@ss!
And it's almost ALWAYS a GUY who does these jackass, Darwin Award-worthy stunts. I can't change what the unhinged and those who make bets will do. I just want organized, competitive eating off the table. Thanks for commenting.
Glad your back. I love your skills as a photographer, I love your historical info, and I love your wit! Since I just turned 60, is there a point when wit is now considered wisdom? If they ever take a vote, I would vote for you to be king.
Thank you, Janice. I like your take on this. If a wise-ass lives long enough, he becomes wise. We'll see.
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